The Wiring of the Brain Toward Sexual Diversity
I am going to give my opinion here in layman terms and will speak about this topic in a way that is appropriate even for less mature audiences. I am not a therapist, but I have done quite a bit of studying and have also been around for a while and have observed and spoken to a lot of guys about their sexual feelings. Traditionally, people who are wired to things such as "bondage" and other things not related directly to sexual intercourse with the opposite sex have been considered to have a paraphilia. This is simply a sexual response to objects that are not connected to the sex act. For many years paraphilias have been considered as a form of a mental disorder. Homosexuality was at one time considered a paraphilia. Today, if you are turned on by handcuffs for example, you are considered to have a paraphilia.
They used to say that people with paraphilias did not know how to love. THIS IS A FALSE NOTION THAT IS NOW OUT OF DATE! Science is discovering that people who have a sexual interest in other things and use these items of sexual attraction as props actually are better at making love than their counter parts. It used to be believed by many, and still is by some religious fanatics that having a paraphilia is un-natural or a sin. THIS IS FALSE INFORMATION! As it turns out, almost everyone is wired to objects that are not actually sexual. this wiring is to greater or lesser degrees, but, men get a feeling in their sexual organs from many different things totally unrelated to sex. Sometimes when they have bought a new car or clothing, they feel a small amount of excitement in their sex organ. Guys may deny this fact, but it is true. I am not saying that it is necessarily a strong sexual feeling, although it can be, but the brain sends a response there as well as to other parts of the body such as the heart and nervous system. I know that most actors feel a slight sexual high from the positive response from an audience. I personally felt this when I used to be a professional entertainer. My point is that science has found that nature has wired us to feel things in our organs more than we have realized. Our brains are wired to every part of our body, and every part can be affected at once by different stimuli. Like fingerprints, no two people are wired exactly the same way sexually either.
I am not going to get technical in this rambling about this topic nor am I even bothering to back up my statements with the research. I have done lots of searching though the findings and research of various people and you can do the same thing if you are so inclined. My personal conclusion on paraphilias is that it is quite normal in most cases. Like anything there is always the exception to the rule. Some people developed sexual wiring from bad things that happened to them. But, good or bad, once you are wired, it is going to pretty much stay that way.
Some people are wired sexually to things that are socially unacceptable and potentially harmful to others. I am speaking of pyromaniacs, sexual predators of minors, sadists who would hurt or kill someone else for real. Those people face a true battle because their brain is wired sexually to something that is NOT harmless to themselves or others. Changing that wiring is about as hopeless as trying to change the wiring of a straight person to make them gay.
Over fixation on a paraphillia can be a problem too. But if your sexual wiring is not toward anything that is harmful to others or yourself, then the best way to get it into balance and not fixate so much on it is to accept yourself as you are, let yourself engage openly in what turns you on, and then keep the rest of your life in balance, taking care of those things that take priority in your life. You are who you are, unique and individual. I like to sleep in a cage or cell wearing shackles locked on me. So what? Some people sleep with teddy bears. (Others with Ted, or "bears") Accept yourself. So you like to be bound and imprisoned. So what? It is no big deal. Welcome to the club.